Death Rolls

 Early one Saturday morning, I was reading my cousin Julia's personal blog Life with Julia, and chuckling about her most recent post called Death Garden. It it, she describes how an old abandoned garden had become a meeting place for the neighborhood kids in Evanston, Illinois. (Click here to access Julia's blog at http://lifewithjulia.wordpress.com/.)

So death gardens were very much on my mind later that same Saturday morning as the smells of sweetness and baking wafted up the stairs. Curiosity got the best of me as I headed down the stairs and into our kitchen where my daughter Catherine and husband Dave had just finished frosting a pan of freshly baked, home-made cinnamon rolls. They looked and smelled absolutely delicious, but all I could blurt out was "DEATH ROLLS," and it spilled out of my mouth as the pan was set on the cooling rack, just in front of me.

All I could think about was the high carbohydrate-drenched bun, with the sweet glucose-laden frosting, and what these ingredients would do to my body! One thing was certain, after blurting out "DEATH ROLLS" there was no way I could legitimately eat one of those cinnamon rolls, no matter how sweet-smelling, or how delicious-looking! This slip-of-the-tongue provided me with a shield against a potentially harmful food.

Catherine and Dave were initially offended by my new name for their cinnamon rolls; but the dissatisfaction didn't last long! Several days later while driving around trying to find a restaurant with a great salad, I laughed out loud! Catherine had begun singing a new DEATH ROLLS song, sung to the tune of Daisy Daisy, Give Me Your Answer Do (AKA, Bicycle Built for Two). "Death rolls, death rolls, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the likes of you!" In the same week a "Death Candy" sign showed up on the side of our Halloween Candy bowl, and a skull and crossbow, entitled "Death Ice Cream" mysteriously appeared on the side of the ice cream box in the freezer. What next?

Submitted on Sunday, October 31, 2010.

P.S. Happy Birthday Dad! And Happy Halloween!